The 7 Do’s & Don’ts of a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship!!!


What’s Goodie America Greetings & Salutations….. 

It feels good to be Young, Black & Single!!!!!!  Yes I said it SINGLE… Now if you are reading this chances are you have read my last Blog post entitled “Hold On I Got A Story To Tell” and you’re wondering WTF happend to the post well I’ll tell you…… Sometimes for me I get like David Banner “You Won’t Like Me When I’m Angry..lol” and I tend to get on my Incredible Hulk incredible-hulk-FL-03shit. But at the end of the day I’m not a cold hearted person.. I’m mean I can really get my point across but it’s no reason to keep beating a dead horse. So I decided in good consicence to take it down, an use my powers for good * Master Yoda Voice The Force is strong with this one Luke* to bring positive insight and creative thinking to the forefront and not stay on *The Darkside*.

“Now that I got the mushy & political correct shit out of the way…. *Horn Sound* Let’s Go In!!!!!!!!”

Now that the weather is getting nice and people are shedding their winter “blues” for summertime “Swag” I started thinking about the various relationships that I have & still encounter to this day, and suddenly the ill-est concept came over me!!!!! I need to make a manual or a set of rules to help out my fellow player’s & playette’s navigate and make their way through this enigma that we call relationships!!! I sat down rolled up a Dub (20 sack for you non-smokers) of some sour diesel, and poured me a glass of some “Henessey Privelage” and commenced to putting the pen to paper. I wanted to come up with a set of rules that will help you in the words of the  late great Notorious B.I.G “Get Your Game on Track, Not your Wig Pushed Back!!!”  and put you on the path of enlightenment & pure bliss in your new Re-Lay-Boo-Ship!!! aka (Relationship)

So off we go let the trumpets blow, and hold cuz the driver of the mission is a pro.. The Ruler’s Back.. lol

 If you wanna play this game then you need to follow these rules and hopefully you Too can get have you a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship!Now yo ucan’t say I aint never did nothin for you!!! Enjoy

 

Negotiatesigning The Terms and Conditions of Your Agreement. Before any type of activities commences one is often asked to read and initial an agreement. The purpose of such an instrument is to spell out the terms and conditions of your business dealings. Since this is smart business sense for the early stages of any relationship, why not also in the realm of the Re-Lay-Boo-Ship? Exactly what are the boundaries? What’s expected from either party? How does a party end this relationship? Is there a stipulation for early termination? Is there a buy out option? Is this a no fault agreement? Is there a long-term clause in the event the either party has a change in status? What should be done if either party catches feelings? Is changing phone numbers abruptly punishable by a brick through your windshield or is it okay if one side decides to disappear without warning? If you two see each other in public is a head nod sufficient or should I just act like I don’t know you? The details MUST be discussed, hacked out and negotiated until both parties can feel like they are part of a win/win situation. After all, this is a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship, not a real relationship. One that may lead up to marriage and kids where anything and everything can happen because ‘we’re in love’.  

 

Please Keep it Clean-t_magnum_l_12box1I watch my potential Boo’s close. I need to find out what she does and with who. When was the last time she took her car in for a tune up (check up)? How many ex’s does she have compared to ex-jumps offs? She may have had three ex’s and 24 ex’Boos. Crunch them numbers. The numbers tell a story. I can’t sleep with a person that sleeps with everybody else and I dam sure won’t choose that person to be my Boo? Why? Because you MUST keep it clean in a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship. I can’t sleep with you and you’re sleeping with Rah, Bam, Hakim and Danny. If you’re a female you should not want to sleep with no dude that has had two or more chicks pregnant at the same time or where you have witnessed three or more females fight over him in the middle of the street. That’s what you call PDC (Potentially Diseased Coochie/Cock). I don’t want any of that. If you do, then I don’t want you either. How am I supposed to explain the fire shooting out my d*& when I use the bathroom to MY GIRL. Besides, if you don’t care enough about yourself to keep your sexual health in check why in the world would I trust you to protect mine?

 

Know Your Teamdream%20team-In order to have a successful Re-Lay-Boo-Ship; all players must know their position. You can’t get mad at a third runner up when s/he fails to accommodate you on a Saturday night, when his/her normal shift is on Tuesdays during your lunch hour. If your Girl/Boy or First runner up causes a change in schedule then the third runner up should be prepared to shift his/her priorities, as so should you. After all, as the third tier worker, s/he is only on Per-Diem until an opening becomes available or s/he gets tired of waiting around. The positions should be initially discussed during the negotiation phase, which is also the opportune time to write in any language about changing priorities or Boo-status. You should know whom all the other team members are from Mom Dukes, to Cousin Toya, to how many children I have. You should know when to call if you want to reach me. You should know important birthdays; vacations and holidays are the days that you have off.Beijing Olympics Basketball Women

 

Keep Your Dog on A Tight Leash-Having a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship is not for the simple wo/man, no. One of the worse situations is a person attempting to have a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship with a sidepiece that doesn’t stay in his/her lane. You are the side piece-that means STAY ON THE SIDE. Don’t get out of pocket because you’re mad and call my Main Chick to spill the beans. Don’t make any plans for a future that we haven’t discussed. Don’t get caught up thinking there will be bills, babies and co-habituating.DoubleDogLeash-Black

Your Buddy Can’t be a Victim-I don’t care how fine she is, or how big your bleeding heart is,  or how good he makes love to you or how much you were taught to ‘give a black man a chance’. A Boo can’t be a victim and a victim can’t be a Boo. See, a Re-Lay-Boo-Ship is about a win/win mutually beneficial relationship simply because there is space and opportunity to have it. There is a business demand that requires the hiring of a temp employee, per say. Victims, either mentally or do to their situation have nothing else popping but what you present to them when you feel like a little something extra and call on them. Once you start to give them a little, you run the risk of them seeing you as A) their come up or B) they fall in love because they ‘don’t have anyone else’ but you around. Either way it’s too much effort and expectations to risk if your with a main Chick/Dude and this is your Boo. Remember, the most dangerous person in a situation is one with nothing to loose.

Your Boo Can’t be a Fan Club Member-We all have people that we know find us attractive but there is just something about them that makes you stay away. There is a reason for that. Something about you is so excited to get near me that you make me think that you know that YOU aren’t on my level. Either literally or in your mind, you are entirely too excited with the prospect of getting next to me. That spells stalker, psycho and potential Felon. You know that person that’s been trying to get with you since Jr. High School? Yeah, them. No, not them. A Boo cannot and should not be a person that has been collecting pictures of you out the town newspaper since way back. He/she can’t be the one who is nice to you no matter how nasty you treat them. S/he cannot be the one who just gives you that ‘crazy’ vibe. The ‘crazy vibe’ is your instinct warning you that this stray may have rabies and will one day need to be put down. Don’t make it be you.

No Tricky Shit-table-close-up-magicianThere is a certain type of love making that one reserves for Valentine’s day, near death experiences or I’m gonna throw this on him/her, cuz I know s/he is thinking about leaving me cuz I been fuckin up’ type sex. The kind where you walk into the room with all intentions that somebody’s going to get hurt tonight, them or me. Somebody is about to get CBreezied tonight to some old Usher music. You walk in with a can of Mello Yello, two magic markers, some Saran Wrap, a rubber band, GI Joe action figure and a flashlight. It’s about to be on and popping. The beauty of old lovers is that you know what how &  what it do’s. You know how to pop da pop off, but often don’t do it all in the same night. I mean, shit, we all got jobs and need our sleep, right? Never, under any circumstances pull the tricks off with the Boo. You can’t run the risk of doing some shyt to that person that will have them tweaking like Smokey on Friday. You might pull some shyt off on them that has them look at you with the googlie eyes. You won’t know you went to far until your Boo is outside your job screaming to security to ‘bring her husband’ down to talk to her. Or you might even pull some shit that has them so freaked out that they start to avoid your azz. Either way, keep the Great Adventure trips at home. Caveat: This does not apply if you DO NOT pull tricks at home because your significant other is not into the acrobatic shit. Some people ain’t. Fuck it. But if that the case then your Boo is the person you use when you have the urge to introduce animals, plant life and endangered species into your lovemaking.

 

And to that I say, “More Power to you”, please send pictures.

Until we meet again!!!

Young M. Clayton

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1 Comment

  1. Hey I think this blog is really interesting 🙂


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