A helping hand!!!!!

A Helping Hand


There are a few things spinning in my head this past week. I am still on my mission to expose bullshit when I see it. Today’s message is for all of those that need a helping hand. Before you stop reading this and holla at me on Twitter (@YoungMClayton-shameless plug) to tell me that I’m buggin, let me explain further.


She ain’t got no money in the bank”…. an epic line from Swizz Beats. Bet you didn’t even realize the wisdom in those words.


See, I am working Joe. A single dude out here in the world, I chill from time to time in the clubs. I see something I like – I do my thing. I might buy a woman a drink; I might buy her two drinks. We might exchange phone numbers. Baby girl looks fly, rocking the latest so am I wrong to assume she has some money in her pocket? We may go out a few times, I’ll pick up the tab because I’m a gentleman. But after a point in time, I start to notice that this chick never has a dime in her pocket. A little further investigation reveals that she not only has no money in her pocket but that she also lives on the couch at her cousin’s house in the projects. Her sole occupation in life is finding guys to take care of her, to take her shopping and give her spending money. Once she’s pressed to contribute, she gets an attitude and blames everyone else for ‘using her’ and leaving her ‘to fend for herself’. All she has to offer are her womanly favors, drama, and the burden of providing for her (expensive) needs. She’ll be with any man that’s willing to pay. Her only concern is her next power move. Her only value lies within the labels on her clothing (purchased by her ex, boosted or bootleg).gold digger

I got no respect for this type of chick. At least a Ho recognizes that this is a “business arrangement”. A Ho may be using her body as a means to an end. Pay her and handle your business so the two of you can get back to your respective lives, ya feel me? I can’t be mad at that!



Please don’t think I am picking on the females. There are dudes that do it too. I am not sure which is whacker…the girls playing victim or the dudes playing Gigolo.



I bet you already know about the Playboyplayboy20bunny? Every hood has one. He has good looks, and charm and if you didn’t know better you would think he had an income. Consider his fresh gear, the whips he pushes through the hood and the credit cards you see him pulling out at the local food spot. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Dude ain’t got no job, he ain’t got no place to live, he ain’t got nothing to offer besides taking his clothes off for whoever will support him in exchange for the perception of a relationship. Don’t know what sadder. The dude who needs a ‘momma’ to take care of him or the chicks that think they have to provide for a man to keep him.


He makes his living by saddling up with the chick (or dude yeah I said it because we all know there are some Down Low Dudes out there.. Real Talk) that got their shit together enough for him to siphon off a decent existence. He doesn’t contribute anything to anyone, including himself. How he eats, drinks, and survives all depends on a WOMAN giving it to him. He’s an overgrown kid sitting up at her house eating all her baby’s cereal. He’ll cop your son’s socks and wear um as footies because he has no money of his own to clothe him self. He’s the dude that drives her to and from work in her car and fills the tank with her gas money. He might even dip across town and take HIS baby’s mother grocery shopping in his woman’s car with the money she gave him for ‘pocket money’ (but that’s another story). He does his dirt but stays on a short leash. Once a woman demands that he get up and find a job and contribute, he’ll have a tantrum, he might pretend to look or he might get angry enough to leave her high and dry with piled up bills and babies that he helped create. He’ll get with the next desperate female who he was gaming on behind his current woman’s back (Upgrade?). You know how it is all charities need sponsors!!!! LOL  


Now I understand people being in between jobs, I understand being down on your luck. But what I don’t understand are the people that think someone owes them something. There are chicks out here that purposely have babies with the highest bidder to ensure she has stable income. If she can’t hook baller status then her “plan B” is to be on public assistance for as long as she can get it. Constantly working on her next come up. Her next hustle. I’ve seen people like this go from shelter, to project, to shelter; to welfare line all their lives.

Not sure what’s more trifling, a female acting like a whore or a man acting like a bitch by being a “Man-whore”. There are some men that will sleep with women or MEN to get what it is they want. Never does it occur to either of these types of people that…



Don’t nobody owe you nothing!!

I get confused. I really do. Wh1900scmammycardinterracqo3o da fuck are you to think you should show up and get all the spoils of life? Who da fuck are you to think that you don’t have to work like the rest of us? What is so special about you that you believe another person should work and toil in order to fulfill your needs? I am not even talking about JUST the gold diggers. I’m talking about those who are homeless and hungry RIGHT NOW, because they refuse to work at a job that pays less then what they think they should earn. They are bitter and angry because someone took something away that was given to them.. food, shelter, money, a car, freedom. I am talking them and the people that make a living off of public assistance. The ones who lives in the basement of grandma’s house (because she lets him) up to and beyond the point of grandma being put in her grave without ever working on a plan to take care of themselves.


Ah, yes.


A Master Plan…everyone should have one.


If your laying up living off of drug money then why isn’t your girl in school getting her education so that she can help you move that money into a legit business?


A plan…what will you do once the day comes when you can’t do whatever it is that you have been doing to get by or get over? What comes next? Do YOU have a 5 yr plan? A next 10-minute plan?

 Ash Cash Show

How about get a job? That’s always a good step. It kills me to hear blacks talk about the Mexicans and the Africans. You’re laughing and clowning them but while they may work for pocket change they are also making moves behind the scene. You’ll be making an appointment with that Pakistani’s son when he becomes a doctor to help you with the high blood pressure you got from eating all that Kennedy Fried Chicken they was peddling to you while you laughed at them and turned over your hustled up money.


My black folks are killing me, for real. Every nationality has spent time being the underdog in this country. Italian, Irish, German, Jewish, Mid Eastern, Pilipino. you name it. When they came to this country they were poor, unfamiliar with their environment, didn’t speak the language and each and every one of them got in where they fit in and pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. At one time we only wanted a piece of land to sharecrop on, at one time we only wanted to be allowed to show up and work. At one time the “freed slaves” had a plan to find their way to economic stability; proud because they earned their way through life…we wanted only to be allowed a pair of boots to pull up.


What happened to us black folks?


Why do some people feel entitled?


Having President Obama in the office makes it clear to me that with education, perseverance and a plan…any person can go far in this country. As soon as we get a little pocket change…we go buy rims, or a new car. Neither of which has any value to anyone other than the person that sold it to you. Credit cards, payday loans, closets full of designer shoes and purses. You men with the boxes upon boxes of never worn or once worn kicks. (Can’t lie I used to be like that.. But Shit I had to grow up!) Jordan didn’t need your donation, but he and Nike surely do appreciate it

And talking about spinning your wheels on irrelevant shit.



I’m hurting for my black woman right now. I’m hurting for the good chicks that do have a plan but their man isn’t on the same page. I’m a respectable dude and I really don’t wanna smash the next man’s piece. I get conversations at work, overhear it on the train and read it on the net. There are a lot of black women out here holding it down in their relationships. I see you, Ma. I hear your man talking shit on you about how you nag him to stay home. How you complain that he’s always out with his friends. I don’t understand how the dudes think that shit is lightweight. If dude stopped hearing his woman nag and started listening instead he could hear what I hear. Your woman wants you to be present and accounted for in the relationship.


For the slow people. Your woman wants to spend time with you. Did you ever think that she might do some of the cooking and ‘special treats’ that she doesn’t do ‘like she used to’ if you were there with her more often? I know dudes that spend more time at their (single) boys house playing video games and smoking then they do in their own house. You expect your woman to come home to an empty house each night. Or you hang out Mon-Sunday and stagger in whenever you get there and then get mad when she doesn’t want to see about you at 3 AM? She accuses you of doing everything under the sun with the next chick and you say she’s nagging and tripping for no reason.


k1018501Why aren’t you rushing home to run her a hot bath?  Or asking her sit down and kick her shoes off so that you can rub her feet and ask her how HER day was? You could make a daily ritual of sleighing her over the back of the couch as soon as she walks in the door. I guarantee you if you did those things more often you could get your hot meal with the big piece of chicken, a cold 22 delivered to you on thk0341465e couch and a much happier, less complaining woman. She would send you out the door with a smile on your face. She would encourage you to hang out with your friends and have fun. Things will definitely improve as long as she knows she is a part of your life along with the social life and friends and not some type of ill responsibility that you try your best to avoid. We have enough dysfunctional families out here. If your with a nice female and your plan was to build with her, then I urge you to get your focus back on your home life. And if you find that a relationship isn’t what you were looking for after all, then be man enough to put it on the table and free her back into the world. I’m single and would love to meet a nice chick, I would hate to think she’s missing out on me because she’s wasting her time waiting on you to be the man your NOT.



  1. I am with you on this whole blog, it’s all on point. I am blessed to say I have that @ home, we rub each others feet and the favours are never ending, we both work. Yeah he makes more money but we pull together. I know men who wouldn’t mind doing it all, as long as the woman showed some sort of get up and go about herself, and did her thing, not just sat around all day, dirty house, no food cooked, ask her to do somethin she think she Queen of the world and cant do nada…friggen eewwwww, she need to serve that man his diner hot,make sure his clothes are washed his house is clean and his sex drive is always met with power, she needs to have a hobby other than talking on the phone to show him she is about movin forward not collecting dust on the couch and,he WILL NOT have a problem with taking care of her.
    Problem is woman in todays world are not like the woman of old, they have been taught ignorance and brainwashed to believe to serve a mans needs is to be his flunky or his maid. The house is not a home. He goes with his basic home needs not being met, then they get mad when he wont come home. They too busy being I am every woman in the buisiness world and have the soft touch burned right from their minds. We need to take it back to the ways our grandmas did it where relationship lasted longer.

    I knew this big ole dude once lived off his woman always spending her money cause he assumed the pipe he laid was good enough. I have allready taught my son to cook,clean and get up off his A**.

    any way thats my blahblah let me quit while Im ahead I feel a sermon coming on.
    Great blog bay!

    • Thanks Jazz I just wanted to let both men & woman know that we all need to step our game up.. If you are looking for that special someone in your life then you have to put in work. My parents have been married for 30yrs so I know that there are good solid relationships that exist.. The problem is finding that person that is on the same wave length… but I digress.. lol.. Thanks Ms. Jazz

  2. im intrigued by this so imma copy this (cuz i dnt hav a computer @ home)so i can really read this!

    • Thanks I look forward to your comments!! :0)

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